Sunday, April 12, 2009

The New Adventures of the OV - Episode 1

The New Adventures of the O.V.

The Goddess & the Goddess-In-Training (known as Git…not to be EVER confused with Git er Done) began their Saturday journey wrapped in the pea soup covering Ocean View. (No No…not some crazy kinky health food lesbian food fight…FOG silly!)…

After successfully parallel parking, they were off for their journey.

A few blocks later, they stopped for sustenance at the ever famous Greenies.
Health food galore was on the menu to go with the pea soup conditions outside…chicken wings & steamed shrimp. Gloriously relishing in their lunch…they emerged from their feast with wing sauce on their nose, ranch dressing up their cheeks, steamed shrimp somehow getting in the hair…a well eaten lunch for sure.

When the wet naps failed to recover them to goddess (& goddess-in-training) status, a mandatory trip to the lavatory accomplished what the dinky wet naps could not. Emerging once again in glorious splendor, they returned to the mandatory dykemobile (AKA truck) to commence their journey
The Fairy Butch was watching out for these two and cleared the bridge traffic…an awesome surprise for sure.

Amid tails of love lost, love gained & love ending in thrift store galore, they meandered the streets of Newport News to get to their location…the SPCA petting zoo.
After tickets were purchased & necessary lollipops, they ventured past the caged animals to the petting zoo…to be greeted by flirting otters.

Larry, Curly & Moe (the otters) were in full performance mode & strutted for the two…training tips well noted by the girls. Through the gates the girls went to be greeting by…chickens. And goats. And a strutting peacock.
Quarters in hand, they fed the ravenous goats…gratefully staying upright as the goats ferociously searched open palms for more snackies.
Beautiful tigers, jaguars and a bobcat entertained them…until they got to the marmosets. More adorable creatures could not be found, especially the mama with her naked newborn.
For fear of missing the main part of their trip, the girls reluctantly said goodbye to their newfound friends and got back into the dykemobile…and went across the street.
After receiving the military, student & senior citizen discounts, GIT also received the being black discount…it was opposite day…who knew?
Map in hand…they were ready to go forth…but stopped in their tracks because they couldn’t find the out door to the exhibits. Sigh…thank goddess for maps.

Finally making their way to the outdoor exhibits…the lonely animals lurking in corners, sleeping soundly…and then there were the wolves. Sadly for the little children around, the evidence of the red cape laying in the three wolve’s
cage told the true ending of the tale. Luckily the majestic bald eagles inspiring stance made them forget the sad tale of little red riding hood.

More otters YAY!!! Do they ever stop flirting? Twirling and swimming through their home away from home, they frolicked…the girls contemplated exchanging lives for a few days but realized the otters would have a hard time driving since their legs are a little short.
Back into the interior of the museum, the girls lamented forgetting their fishing pole…those catfish sure look tasty.

Therapy was given to the paddlefish as the other fish were ignoring them, due to their excessively long snout. Their legacy dating back to the dinosaurs did nothing for their popularity in this fish tank. After some tears and well wished hugs to the paddlefish, the girls travelled to the cavern. In darkness, the GIT glanced into a glass exhibit. Not seeing anything, she ventured closer…and closer…until the most vile creature to exist on earth jumped into her face…a slimy millipede. Ew…

Onto the natural habitat area…The goddess made friends with the blowfish…using her wonderous powers she was …to GIT’s delight…able to ask them to puff up…the little joys in life.

Coming across the French turtle, they found out the truth about the movie Finding Nemo…apparently the turtles are NOT from Australia as the French turtle explained…he was a little bitter about the misrepresentation of his proud heritage. Knowing the truth was out there, he was able to return swimming around his domain…acting all French like.

Being so close to closing, the girls decided they would start to venture out…GIT froze in shock as she spotted a runaway bobcat outside the door…waiting for an afternoon snack. Hiding in the gift store, the goddess calmed her down with the powers of the 4 foot snake…made out of gummy candy. Tattoos & candy later, they made their way outside…no sign of bobcats anywhere.
One more stop for necessary pie & ravioli (not together!!! Ew!!) they made their way back towards the land of O.V….only for GIT to lose all dyke points by taking the 25 point turn to parallel park…
Stay tuned for the next adventures of the new O.V……

No comments:

Post a Comment